I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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