so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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