so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
