Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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