I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
