We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
