Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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