I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
