I wannas sexs uuuuu
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize