absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
