you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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