Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
