So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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