I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize