Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
