Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We talked him into tasing himself.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
