So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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