drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
