I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
