cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
