Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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