Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
