I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
