Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize