I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
