Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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