You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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