Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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