so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
