Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You can't just leave with hair like that
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
