something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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