Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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