dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
