So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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