Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
