Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
