Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
