Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
