babies were throwing up all over the place
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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