I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Also, beer. Big fan.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
