I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
