Nicole vs. Life
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize