Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
