The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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