how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
