a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Less talking, more tequila
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
