oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
