I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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