i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
