i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
