you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
