Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
