What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize