You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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