On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
