Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she looked like the before picture.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
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