Do you still have your period?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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