Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
a search helicopter?!
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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